Another month gone and no rain in sight

Would you believe with all the weather the rest of Victoria is getting today that we have not got any and have not had any since I last posted here........ we are really getting desperate here for water, the ground is so dry, our tanks are almost dry, the grasses and surrounds are all so dry... somebody send us some good solid rain..........Please.............. there has been another deliberately lit fire in our region this last week, this time it has burnt out over 6000 hectares and was brought under control earlier today...... we are in April and usually our fire restrictions are coming off around now but it is so dry.... they are saying at least another month or until we get some good solid rains......

Haven't really been doing much sewing of late, even though I have a stack of orders to fill and heaps of digitizing also... I just can't seem to get myself motivated when I am home long enough to do anything....... hopefully the school holidays will give me some inspiration to get my bum into gear again......
Has been a bit of an up and down year for me so far...... I just seem to get my head around things and get myself organised with all the kids and their different activities when someone goes and throws a spanner in the works........lol I think that is why I have thrown myself into knitting a bit more than usual and have withdrawn from people.. it's my respite from what is actually happening in the real world...
Don't get me wrong, I am still as active as ever with the kids and their sporting and school commitments. I just choose to sit in the car and wait and knit... if I can..

I have always believed that before you can criticise anyone for what they have or haven't done you have to walk a mile in their shoes to understand more of what their lives actually entail........... I know that I shouldn't let people get to me like this but when it comes from family it cuts deeper..... some people are so quick to judge....... you know you haven't done this or you haven't done that type of thing... well excuse me but we have tried.... I can't perform the impossible... and I think we have the right to put my kids and their needs first....sorry if this is not suitable to anyone but stiff....
Today is dds birthday and not one acknowledgement from extended family until late tonight, this is something my kids and I have become accustomed to over the years yet we are constantly told off if we forget others' days... but still we get no thanks for pressies given... sometimes I don't even know if the gifts arrive safely at their destinations...this is something I have learnt to just accept, but the thing that got to me so much tonight was a simple text message.... I had just completed organising a little surprise for someone who has never judged me or not that I am aware of... it gave me a nice feeling of stepping forward... then out of the blue a text from ? who last time I saw (early Feb) never even acknowledged my presence and made me feel very unwelcome by speaking straight thru me.......to say I was hurt would be an understatement.. but then I get a message tonight to let us know they are now living elsewhere..... just in case noone told us...well dd actually got the message not me!! it was like now we are here you can come visit us......
yeah well no one has told us........ no one has spoken to me since early Feb... oh they tell my kids to tell me things I supposedly have to do or things I haven't done but they think I should have but not one of them has actually spoken to me....... it is as if we don't exist anymore......... the forgotten family..... they aren't interested in talking to us but they think it is okay to be involved in our lives when they please yet still treat us as though we don't exist....

I am not even sure if any of them even read my blog but this is my way of getting this off my chest so to speak... I know it will still eat away at me and every new comment or remark will cut a bit deeper but after all these years of feeling like the black sheep of the family and never being good enough for them, you would think I would be used to it........ nope it still hurts....... I am sick of trying to be nice to everyone and trying not to offend anyone with anything I say or do.... it is time for others to stop judging me/us for not doing as they think we should be doing....... it is time for them to realise that if we were made to feel welcome we might actually join in with family occasions, it is time for them to realise we have a life, a busy one at that and we have every right to lead this life any way we choose..... the same as they all have the right to lead their own lives their ways without fear of anyone judging them........ don't be snide and bitch away behind our backs, just say what is eating at you... I guess what I am trying to say is enough is enough, if we aren't good enough to be a part of your lives so be it...... you can't keep just jumping in whenever you please and then ignoring us whenever... we are humans with feelings...and kids aren't dumb they know a lot more than what you give them credit for and they also have feelings.......

Okay I am off now.. next post I promise will be on a much more positive note....